I'm not a psychopath I'm a high-functioning sociopath

Sherlock / Sherlock

We're not trapped... Just inconveniently circumstanced

10th Doctor / Doctor Who

Rove - Who would you turn gay for?
D. Radcliffe - Einstein, because I think intelligence is sexy

Rove McManus / Rove Live

Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast, faster than you could believe. Don't turn your back! Don't look away! And don't blink! Good luck.

10th Doctor / Doctor Who

You can live with dignity, but you can't die with it.

Dr. Gregory House / House

People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them I have the heart of a small boy... and I keep it in a jar on my desk.

Stephen King

Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't

Elle Woods / Legally Blond

I've calculated your chance of survival, but I don't think you'll like it.

Marvin / Hitchhikers' Guide

I have a million ideas, but, they all point to certain death.

Marvin / Hitchhiker's Guide

Wibbly Wobbly, Timey Wimey.

10th Doctor / Doctor Who

When kids hit one year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit

Johnny Depp

I could fix this if I just had some duct tape.

Macgyver / Macgyver

You mean... you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword, and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people?

Man in Black / Princess Bride

I have a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell

Christopher Walken / SNL

Excuse me... I'm making perfect sense, You're just not keeping up!

11th Doctor / Doctor Who

You were fantastic, absolutely fantastic. And you know what? So was I!

9th Doctor / Doctor Who

Optical illusions should be called “brain failures”.

Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson / StarTalk

Violence against one is violence against all. Violence against all is violence against myself.

Charlie Crews / Life

Watson - In real life. There are no arch-enemies in real life. Doesn’t happen.
Sherlock - Doesn’t it? Sounds a bit dull.

Sherlock

So I'm always in motion. I'm never in one place. I'm never here. Just more likely to be here than not to be here. I'm not here.

Charlie Crews / Life

Watson - You risk your life to prove you're clever.
Sherlock - And why would I do that?
Watson - Because you're an idiot!

Sherlock

Say hi to your mum for me!

Rove McManus / Rove Live

I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.

Sheldon / The Big Bang Theory

Moriaty - If you don't stop prying, I'll burn you. I'll burn the heart out of you.
Sherlock - I have been reliably informed that I don't have one.

Sherlock

Applied physicists are from Venus; Theoretical physicists wonder why it spins in the other direction.

Fleinhardt / Sacrifice / Numb3rs

Life is a million to one. The universe is one big coincidence. Cosmically improbable coincidences happen all the time. We just don't notice them all.

Patrick Jane / Red Rum / Mentalist