You look lovely today, have you had a wash?

12th Doctor / The Caretaker / Doctor Who

 Don't listen to him. It's just the ravings of a demented space tramp.

The Doctor / The Creature from the Pit  / Doctor Who

You know, you're the classic example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain.

The Doctor / The Robots of Death / Doctor Who

 You're mister thick, thick, thickety thick-face from Thicktown, Thickania... and so's your dad!

10th Doctor / The Girl in the Fireplace / Doctor Who

 I think... no, I am positive that you are the most unattractive man I have ever met in my entire life. In the short time we've been together, you have demonstrated every loathsome characteristic of the male personality and even discovered a few new ones.  You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you're morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor and you smell.  You're not even interesting enough to make me sick.

Alexandra Medford / The Witches of Eastwick

 Well, I'll tell you something that should be of vital interest to you.  That you, sir, are a NITWIT!

The Doctor / Doctor Who

 You bowl like your momma. Unless, of course, she bowls well, in which case you bowl nothing like her.

Sheldon Cooper / The Wheaton Recurrence / The Big Bang Theory

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries

French Guard / Monty Python and the Holy Grail

 [He] may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

Groucho Marx / Rufus T. Firefly / Duck Soup

 I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon.

Westley / The Dread Pirate Roberts / The Princess Bride

 [You're] a girl with as much talent for disguise as a giraffe in dark glasses trying to get into a polar-bears-only club.

Blackadder / Blackadder Goes Forth

 Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking... Nerf herder!

Princess Leia / Star Wars Ep V: The Empire Strikes Back

 I do desire we may be better strangers.

Orlando / As You Like It / William Shakespeare

 What are you, a captain in the innuendo squad?

Micky / Doctor Who

Doctor: Do you know what souls are made out of?

Patrick Jane: Frogs and snails and puppy dog tails?

Red brick and ivy / Mentalist

Barkeep, give me something old and gold.  I think I have a cold.

DiNozzo / Two-Faced / NCIS

Andy - April, you are like an angel without wings.
April - so, like a person...

Woman of the Year / Parks and Recreation

If you had to choose only one half of your son, which one would it be?

Willy Wonka / Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

There is no gravity in space, Mr. Matthews, therefore astronauts suck UP. Learn from them.

George Feeny / Pilot / Boy Meets World

Good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe it.

Neil DeGrass Tyson