A so-called 'woodchuck' (correctly speaking, a groundhog) would chuck - that is, throw - as much as the woodchuck in question was physically able to chuck (ibid) if woodchucks in general had the capability (and, presumably, the motivation) to chuck wood.

Siri

God, the almighty and all-knowing, has misplaced a cup?

Sir Robin / Spamalot

Quark Pffft - What did one elevator say to the other?
Sharpie Butsalot - Need a lift?
Quark Pffft - No... ::pause:: I think I'm coming down with something.

Jeff Davis & Dan Harmon / Harmontown

David - Knock knock
Bernard - Who's there?
David - Doctor
Bernard - Doctor Who?
David - Correct!

David Tennant / Never Mind the Buzzcocks

Mr. Schue taught me the second half of the alphabet. I stopped after M and N. I felt they sounded too similar and got frustrated.

Brittany / Glee

The most boring constellation: Triangulum Australis. A profound lack of imagination - any 3 stars in the sky makes a triangle.

Neil deGrasse Tyson

Mystery creates wonder and wonder is the basis of man's desire to understand.

Neil Armstrong

Mal - Ship like this, be with ya 'til the day you die.
Zoe - Cause it's a deathtrap.

Firefly

Do you know what the chain of command is here? It's the chain I go get and beat you with to show you who's in command.

Jayne / Firefly

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Woody Allen

Children are wormholes. They're portals into the unreachable future and unattainable past.

Prof. Larry Fleinhardt / Numb3rs

It's strange that a dog would eat a dead bird, but would never eat a grape...

Tom Wilson / Bigger Than You

I'm a leaf on the wind, watch how I soar.

Wash / Serenity