Barkeep, give me something old and gold.  I think I have a cold.

DiNozzo / Two-Faced / NCIS

I'm not conceited, just convinced.
I don't *think* I'm better than you, I know I am.

Jeff B Davis

I am an army doctor which means I can break every bone in your body while naming them.

John Watson / The Abominable Bride / Sherlock