Sunday, September 30, 2012

A so-called 'woodchuck' (correctly speaking, a groundhog) would chuck - that is, throw - as much as the woodchuck in question was physically able to chuck (ibid) if woodchucks in general had the capability (and, presumably, the motivation) to chuck wood.
Siri

Thursday, September 27, 2012

God, the almighty and all-knowing, has misplaced a cup?
Sir Robin / Spamalot
Quark Pffft - What did one elevator say to the other?
Sharpie Butsalot - Need a lift?
Quark Pffft - No... ::pause:: I think I'm coming down with something.
Jeff Davis & Dan Harmon / Harmontown

Monday, September 24, 2012

David - Knock knock
Bernard - Who's there?
David - Doctor
Bernard - Doctor Who?
David - Correct!
David Tennant / Never Mind the Buzzcocks

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Mr. Schue taught me the second half of the alphabet. I stopped after M and N. I felt they sounded too similar and got frustrated.
Brittany / Glee

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

The most boring constellation: Triangulum Australis. A profound lack of imagination - any 3 stars in the sky makes a triangle.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Mystery creates wonder and wonder is the basis of man's desire to understand.
Neil Armstrong